Attachment styles and Romance between couples.

According to the cognitive psychology and  the study on adult attachment;  basically known  that attachment style that develop in childhood stay with us for a lifetime. They influence our feeling of security, the personal meaning given our experience, and the ability to develop and maintain closeness with others. We all have perceptions and  behaviors across the continuum of attachment style; however we tend to adopt one primary style. In a romantic relationship, secure adult find it relativity easy to get close to. These type of person tend to maintain   a secure and healthy relationship with their partners. dismissing adult in a affective relationship are more comfortable being self-reliant, it means they don't seek or accept support from their partners; in these type of relationship statistical don't success like the one of the secure adult, and always focused it self in fiscal attraction. Adult with preoccupied attachment are so sure that they won't be love and supported that they are excessively vigilant, demanding reassurance, jealous, and end-up scaring others away. And the last one is unresolved adult; these adults are afraid of closeness. They view themselves as detective and unworthy of love and are not capable of intimate, trusting and mature romantic relationship. These person are selfish, controlling, and refuse to take personal responsibility for their action.


So this is a test for my reader form this post which type of attachment you think you have, or you partner have.

The perfect excuse...........

Man and woman for century are fighting for who is the best and everything. Psychologist  opinion about this matters come at a conclusion,  that sex partner when they spend a lot of time together;  one of them invent  some excuse to admitting something that they will do or haven't don't  yet. To these type of problem in couples I called "the perfect excuse" it just the way when two couple,  who spend a lot time with  each other, began to fight about useless thing,  and them in that same moment the perfect excuse come out. A example of that is when: " there is a woman who is argue in with his partner about what sex position she like him to do her better, and her partner try to let her suggestion in the air by adding a bad comment, who leads her to say that he is a bad partner and them her partner  defence himself with some excuse like; -baby I love you I know what I'm doing and them the woman forget about her suggestion and decide to believe his excuse". If it wasn't for that excuse that the man invented to calm his wife, she probably let him for another guy and be happy for her sake. But it seen that the  man in this case have a valuable point of view that his woman, and for that matter he win in every discussion.

I let my reader to examine this case and think deeply about if that were your case what did you do to value your point of view. In my opinion I thinks that the perfect way to avoid excuses in a relationship is to be honest with your partner no matter how lousy is the true. 

Love and communication

The key of a good communication with  your sex partner is to  have a good mutual empathy . A  mutual empathy in  partners  can be achieve,  by demonstrating well intention with your sex partner  and good care. there are 3 topic that you need to  maintain, when you are in a sex relationship: 1- be sufficient at the time of the sex talk with your partner, 2- having a good way of socialisation and 3- express yourself with your partner  ( zero fear). We need to have this in mind so we can have a perfect relationship with our partner  if you  want  to be  prolonged. These  type of technique is essential in matters of loving  and having a good communication with the person that you want to spend your life with;  and it can be successfully if there is enough  love and trust between them.

The story of Eros and the real meaning of love

There was a time in earth when the  gods decide to divide their most  values element in 5 parts: Fire, water, earth, wind and the last one was love. Because love have so many structure the gods decide to divide love and name there parts, one was called Eros, or romantic love is the kind of love in which it involve desire and passion, its the type of love in which all lover begin there journey on finding out their real feeling for that person in a mutual way. The Gods also assign this type of a love to Aphrodite the sex god and to spark more romance they used cupid for that; but this type of love it only care about passion and sexuality it wasn't enough to trust  in this type of love only to be pure;  so Zeus enters another type of love that give people another changes to really connect more   with there feeling, to  care more about the loving person. This  type of love was known as self- love; it means that  the  combination  with passion love (Eros) and self-love, which  give more sense to people  in what loving someone could be,   and  with this combination; love can have real meaning and we can make an ideal of someone that we can give all our love and live in peace upon the earth and sky.

So perfect, Imperfect you.....

With one touch of you  I feel enough,

With one laugh of you I'm happy enough, 

You are so perfect to me, Imperfect you. 

There is  one thing I love the most about  you is how 

pure your love is, and  I'm proud to call you my ideal, 

oh  you are so perfect you. 

 They say that I am  mad thinking of you as the perfect one, 

The say that is not such thing as perfection, 

because they don't reckon what is so perfect about you, 

I say its your  heart that make you perfect like 

God.  

 So perfect, or imperfect you 

you are my Alfa, 

you are my omega, 

You are the reason of my existence, 

oh you're so  perfect, or  imperfect love of my. 

My True Love Experience

It was in  the spring of 2011, beginning of march. When I saw you waking by the school hall  in which I work to, i feel something strange  I thought that I was going to die in that instant,  it  feel   like something   strange   in my chest;   it was like the experience on having  a panic attack or an anxiety  attack, which I wasnt sure how is that feeling, the only good thing about that feeling is that  I didn't want to go away. although  in that same   that moment i feel like  my heart was going to explode; for me  it felt like you were the best thing I ever have in that day. In my head I thought  It was good thing,  I was praying to god to see you again because that feeling make me wonder a lot,  and  finally it hit me the question that  I should see him again, I should meet  him and start a good friendly relationship with that person,  because it felt right, like destiny put me in that same spot that day to finally meet you.  I did not know if he is the love of my life, but in that moment I thought that something good came come through that relationship and I will not give that chance away, and it finally hit me he could be the person that I will love.

Sex and Commitment

In most human  being sex activity form  part  of them  life. It basically   when two people find a love connexion in a mutual way  and decide to be with that person only. This love connexion is the beginning of a new feeling, a new experience which evolve in  the  life of those lucky person. The problem that   some have  to keep  this special connexion,   is for example:  when a guy find  a cute nice lady, at first they always thinks in sex and they take full advantage of that ( physical interest first). Woman when they willing to started a  relationship with someone, they also think  about the sex part first;  but they see it like a good thing to start a commitment. Because for her giving up their body to a complete stranger is a sacrificed that she have to  make just for love;  and that how the commitment began, the drama, the growing of that special feeling and at the end pure love to that complete stranger, that is no more.

Erotic Love

According to Erich Fromm a German-american social psychologist, we understand base on his book the art of loving; that there are 5 type of love: brotherly love, motherly and fatherly love, erotic love, self-love and the love of god. Erotic love is one of the type of love according to Erich; that is conceived as sensual or romantic love or the human sex drive (libido) and is personified in Eros, the Greek god of love. "erotic" is an epithet which is applied to everything with a connection to the love of the sexes.

 Eroticism (from the Greek ἔρως, eros—"desire") is a philosophical contemplation with a focus on the aesthetics of sexual desire, sensuality and romantic love: 'the very word "erotic" implies superior value, fine art, an aesthetic which elevates the mind and incidentally stimulates the body'.^[1] Unlike sensuality, which concentrates on the pleasures of the senses, eroticism is concerned with heightening those pleasures, and may involve a delay in sexual gratification to intensify the satisfaction level by extending the period of yearning desire.

"People who get involve with a another person and  start  manifesting their feeling according to this type of love. won't get enough of it and eventually will get tire with time. if you are a person who use the combination of  the erotic love with romance and self-love it may work out on starting a good relationship  with your partner". 

And dead call him one day

 In a small town there was  a lonely, sad,  irritable old   man;  who  always complain a lot; about why  dead will never come for him. Because he had been for so long in this place  with no progress achieve. One random day the man woke  up with a strange feeling in his heart.  He was in a lot of pain,   and he couldn't explain that. In  that very moment an angel comes down and saw the poor man in suffering, he ask the man why are you suffering that much, don't suffer old man, now is the time to go  old man. The old man saw the angel and look at it with a smile on his  face, he was waiting for this moment for so long. he said to the angel that  he didn't deserve to suffer that much I wanted to die but I didn't expected that it was today in the same day of my birthdays. The angel looks at the man and ask him, are you telling me how to do my job, what is so special about that day than the other, is just the way nature works. Well the man said to the angel, what happens is   that today is my birthdays and I decide until this day that I'm going to started a new life. The angel look at the man with a ignorance look and tell him - after all that you have become old man, all that you being threw you want me to believe that you haven't do anything that worth wide in this life of yours, I see  why  my superior talk a lot about your selfishness and irritable soul, they bet in heaven that I wouldn't collect your soul today, but let tell you something old man you became a miracle of life in my entire life of experience you are the only soul that I can to collect who had live the most, and you have been bless by the gift of life for during so long in your life, if you didn't know until today how valuable  you are, you never will know. The man looked right throw the angel eyes and saw purity and finally he close his eyes and rest.

The angel won  the bet in heaven because he always know when is the right time for the one's who are ready to go. I'm dead and that's all you need to know.

Just ordinary you

I like you because of your smile, of the way you look at me and the way you make me laugh. For others  you just an ordinary person, but for me you are a special person who walk  in to  my life to sweet me of my feet . you hold my heart to never to let go, you are my fairytale, my fiction novel, my work of art and I'm just the person who is in love of an ordinary person. In love with your simplicity, your self, your personality, all your defects and imperfection, I just like you ordinary you, my ordinary person who make me write about love, feeling and expression. I don't want to let go of you these feeling is the best that had happen to me and I want to last forever if that is possible becouse for me your not perfect you just my ordinary person, my ordinary guy........

When lust fall in love

There was a beautiful princess with a big heart but with an incurable disease,  who live in a isolate castle, her parents do everything for  her just  to make her happy, but she always felt that someone needed her complete heart more than her, and that way she will be happy for the time. one day she was walking in town and saw this strange selfish  dark and tall  handsome man that was staring at her the all time she was walking. She get closely to that man and start talking to him - Hello, excuse me that something in me bother in you. The man said- No, it looks like your scare, unhappy, you just cough my attention. - the princess said - excuse me how they call you in hear?. - oh sorry, for my manners, my name is Leopold, but they called me Leo and your name is miss- said the man. oh darling you don't need to know my name, from this day I will not longer exist, said the princess with tears in her eyes. The man with worried expression, couldn't stop asking why this beautiful girl is crying, and spend the all night listing to the princess story and what she is going to do to sacrificed her hold heart to one that needed the most. he was so please to the story that starting to like the princess and they started to connect each other with their eyes, with their hands, touch, and kiss. Finally one thing let to another and the princess spend the night with the man. At the next morning Leo wake up so happy and fulfilled of love that wanted to feel like that for the rest of his life. When he finally go up, he went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for his loving one, and when he go up to his room, find out the bed empty with a letter that said few things. The man sat down on his bed an read the note, it said- Dear handsome man, you have taken my heart away I enjoy being with you but when I meant to find some decent man to give my heart, I meant you;  you are my love and I give all my heart to you I hope you have found love with me as well, and can began a new live without any selfishness. Don't worried about me life, I just live my with you, and no you should not see me again this was an opportunity for love, so give you love and now you should give back to someone that really deserve it. PS. I never going to forget you.

That experience mean  a lot to the men and couple years letter he found someone to give his complete heart, and married that person and life happy ever afters.

please don't give up when is a matter of love.

The perfect man

In history woman always wait for the perfect man, a guy who  arrived  from  nowhere to steal  your heart away. we got that idea form our past, mothers of us always tell us the story about a guy who will come to steal us away, marry us so that  we can  live a  happy life. sincerely a don't believe in all the joke that women say about the non-existence of the perfect man, that is not going to come ext ext ext................. I have my one believe of the existence of that men, I don't call him "the perfect man" for me is a normal guy who one day going to notice my existence and will laugh at all my joke, will understand me, will love me no matter what, he will stand my 'craziness, may jokes and the way I am. He will love me forever as I'm going to, and at first he will be my friend, and later in life he will become my best friend.

Don't be afraid lady's if your not found your perfect man at this time, that special person will come someday even when you less imagine. So I hope with that person you found love, pure love.

The man who never thought he will find love

There was a man  up in a hill who always question himself; what is really love? how do I know that I Love somebody? Why in every relationships  that I am with  I never felt love?. and an angel was walking by the hill and saw the poor men hitting his head down in the floor, and the angel get close  to him; what is wrong with you poor men? -ask the angel, the poor men saw the beautiful angel and said to the angel  with a sad face, something is really wrong with me?, the angel breath deeply and ask - what since to bother you? the poor men look at the angel and said - the thing is that I never love a person before, I don't know what that feel, people  are so kind with me and I don't know how to express that,  tell me angel  if something wrong with me,  I'm going to be punished for not loving anyone in my life, tell me angel. The angel look closely to the men and said- oh oh oh poor men you don't have to worried about I think you have felt love in the past before if it wasn't love you wouldn't be a nice, kind, comprehensive and  honest person, you just don't understand what love really mean, and for telling you the true love is what you are in flesh and soul. The nice men stand up was please to hear those word that the angel told him and walk by his house happy and proud about himself.

love

love is like a drug, a kind of drug that when you feeling it make you into a child again, sometime when you love a person you became that person and you get a feeling of supremacy, joy and satisfaction that you don't wish to be over you just want to be in that state forever. that is why people get so attach with the one they love the most, and don't wish to never be far of that person. if you love someone you love him/or her with their defect, imperfection and lousiness, because when you are in love your soul is pure and you cant judge that person for being ugly and imperfect. love it filled with generosity, honesty and kindness. if you love someone you give all for that person, because when is love around all is worth it, and it feel magical being in that state. is one of the powerfully drugs that humankind had and the only one that we can depend on. the problem with love is if you don't read  the manual carefully you can get crazy for time to time.

a phrase for my reader about love: "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart" by Helen Keller

Topic for my readers

hello people in love, I just want to start this blog by asking a question about love. Have you ever being in love? or the yo believe in soul mate?. In my personal experience love is something magical, its not all attraction into you feel the need of being with that person forever, when you feel like that you know that is love that call at door and believe my guy if you see someone out there who deserve your entire heart, give to him that meant that he your soul mate  and believe me you wouldn't regret being with that person for the rest of your life.

I ended  this biog with a phrase that always touch me: "you learn to love,  not when you found the perfect person, but when you learn to believe in the perfection of an imperfect person"

thanks I hope you like the beginning...............