Attachment styles and Romance between couples.

According to the cognitive psychology and  the study on adult attachment;  basically known  that attachment style that develop in childhood stay with us for a lifetime. They influence our feeling of security, the personal meaning given our experience, and the ability to develop and maintain closeness with others. We all have perceptions and  behaviors across the continuum of attachment style; however we tend to adopt one primary style. In a romantic relationship, secure adult find it relativity easy to get close to. These type of person tend to maintain   a secure and healthy relationship with their partners. dismissing adult in a affective relationship are more comfortable being self-reliant, it means they don't seek or accept support from their partners; in these type of relationship statistical don't success like the one of the secure adult, and always focused it self in fiscal attraction. Adult with preoccupied attachment are so sure that they won't be love and supported that they are excessively vigilant, demanding reassurance, jealous, and end-up scaring others away. And the last one is unresolved adult; these adults are afraid of closeness. They view themselves as detective and unworthy of love and are not capable of intimate, trusting and mature romantic relationship. These person are selfish, controlling, and refuse to take personal responsibility for their action.


So this is a test for my reader form this post which type of attachment you think you have, or you partner have.

The perfect excuse...........

Man and woman for century are fighting for who is the best and everything. Psychologist  opinion about this matters come at a conclusion,  that sex partner when they spend a lot of time together;  one of them invent  some excuse to admitting something that they will do or haven't don't  yet. To these type of problem in couples I called "the perfect excuse" it just the way when two couple,  who spend a lot time with  each other, began to fight about useless thing,  and them in that same moment the perfect excuse come out. A example of that is when: " there is a woman who is argue in with his partner about what sex position she like him to do her better, and her partner try to let her suggestion in the air by adding a bad comment, who leads her to say that he is a bad partner and them her partner  defence himself with some excuse like; -baby I love you I know what I'm doing and them the woman forget about her suggestion and decide to believe his excuse". If it wasn't for that excuse that the man invented to calm his wife, she probably let him for another guy and be happy for her sake. But it seen that the  man in this case have a valuable point of view that his woman, and for that matter he win in every discussion.

I let my reader to examine this case and think deeply about if that were your case what did you do to value your point of view. In my opinion I thinks that the perfect way to avoid excuses in a relationship is to be honest with your partner no matter how lousy is the true. 

Love and communication

The key of a good communication with  your sex partner is to  have a good mutual empathy . A  mutual empathy in  partners  can be achieve,  by demonstrating well intention with your sex partner  and good care. there are 3 topic that you need to  maintain, when you are in a sex relationship: 1- be sufficient at the time of the sex talk with your partner, 2- having a good way of socialisation and 3- express yourself with your partner  ( zero fear). We need to have this in mind so we can have a perfect relationship with our partner  if you  want  to be  prolonged. These  type of technique is essential in matters of loving  and having a good communication with the person that you want to spend your life with;  and it can be successfully if there is enough  love and trust between them.

The story of Eros and the real meaning of love

There was a time in earth when the  gods decide to divide their most  values element in 5 parts: Fire, water, earth, wind and the last one was love. Because love have so many structure the gods decide to divide love and name there parts, one was called Eros, or romantic love is the kind of love in which it involve desire and passion, its the type of love in which all lover begin there journey on finding out their real feeling for that person in a mutual way. The Gods also assign this type of a love to Aphrodite the sex god and to spark more romance they used cupid for that; but this type of love it only care about passion and sexuality it wasn't enough to trust  in this type of love only to be pure;  so Zeus enters another type of love that give people another changes to really connect more   with there feeling, to  care more about the loving person. This  type of love was known as self- love; it means that  the  combination  with passion love (Eros) and self-love, which  give more sense to people  in what loving someone could be,   and  with this combination; love can have real meaning and we can make an ideal of someone that we can give all our love and live in peace upon the earth and sky.

So perfect, Imperfect you.....

With one touch of you  I feel enough,

With one laugh of you I'm happy enough, 

You are so perfect to me, Imperfect you. 

There is  one thing I love the most about  you is how 

pure your love is, and  I'm proud to call you my ideal, 

oh  you are so perfect you. 

 They say that I am  mad thinking of you as the perfect one, 

The say that is not such thing as perfection, 

because they don't reckon what is so perfect about you, 

I say its your  heart that make you perfect like 

God.  

 So perfect, or imperfect you 

you are my Alfa, 

you are my omega, 

You are the reason of my existence, 

oh you're so  perfect, or  imperfect love of my. 

My True Love Experience

It was in  the spring of 2011, beginning of march. When I saw you waking by the school hall  in which I work to, i feel something strange  I thought that I was going to die in that instant,  it  feel   like something   strange   in my chest;   it was like the experience on having  a panic attack or an anxiety  attack, which I wasnt sure how is that feeling, the only good thing about that feeling is that  I didn't want to go away. although  in that same   that moment i feel like  my heart was going to explode; for me  it felt like you were the best thing I ever have in that day. In my head I thought  It was good thing,  I was praying to god to see you again because that feeling make me wonder a lot,  and  finally it hit me the question that  I should see him again, I should meet  him and start a good friendly relationship with that person,  because it felt right, like destiny put me in that same spot that day to finally meet you.  I did not know if he is the love of my life, but in that moment I thought that something good came come through that relationship and I will not give that chance away, and it finally hit me he could be the person that I will love.

Sex and Commitment

In most human  being sex activity form  part  of them  life. It basically   when two people find a love connexion in a mutual way  and decide to be with that person only. This love connexion is the beginning of a new feeling, a new experience which evolve in  the  life of those lucky person. The problem that   some have  to keep  this special connexion,   is for example:  when a guy find  a cute nice lady, at first they always thinks in sex and they take full advantage of that ( physical interest first). Woman when they willing to started a  relationship with someone, they also think  about the sex part first;  but they see it like a good thing to start a commitment. Because for her giving up their body to a complete stranger is a sacrificed that she have to  make just for love;  and that how the commitment began, the drama, the growing of that special feeling and at the end pure love to that complete stranger, that is no more.

Erotic Love

According to Erich Fromm a German-american social psychologist, we understand base on his book the art of loving; that there are 5 type of love: brotherly love, motherly and fatherly love, erotic love, self-love and the love of god. Erotic love is one of the type of love according to Erich; that is conceived as sensual or romantic love or the human sex drive (libido) and is personified in Eros, the Greek god of love. "erotic" is an epithet which is applied to everything with a connection to the love of the sexes.

 Eroticism (from the Greek ἔρως, eros—"desire") is a philosophical contemplation with a focus on the aesthetics of sexual desire, sensuality and romantic love: 'the very word "erotic" implies superior value, fine art, an aesthetic which elevates the mind and incidentally stimulates the body'.^[1] Unlike sensuality, which concentrates on the pleasures of the senses, eroticism is concerned with heightening those pleasures, and may involve a delay in sexual gratification to intensify the satisfaction level by extending the period of yearning desire.

"People who get involve with a another person and  start  manifesting their feeling according to this type of love. won't get enough of it and eventually will get tire with time. if you are a person who use the combination of  the erotic love with romance and self-love it may work out on starting a good relationship  with your partner".